Hello.
Recently, I have rediscovered how brilliant it is to be single. I forgot how much I loved it; I have missed this!
I have missed:
Perhaps I sound teenage, but I’m glad. I am teenage. Relationships give me premature wrinkles.
Today I slept, skipped school, and drank a really large quantity of Red Bull. I also went to QD to buy TUPPERWARE but sort of just wandered around in a daze looking at ugly light-up Santas and pet outfits with words like ‘Angel’ and “Cutie’ appliqued onto the arse.
I have to go to college tomorrow so I can be stabbed in the arm to protect my cervix. I fucking hope my cervix appreciates this.
FUCK THIS.
Following yesterday’s email, I attempted to phone the gentleman from whom I received it. For the first time in weeks, the telephone was answered. I asked why he would send me such a threat, he accused me, again, of spreading ‘shit and lies’ about him. I asked what, and to whom, he believed I had ‘spread’. He didn’t really have a response to this at all, and thus persisted in calling me a lying, manipulative bitch. He only cut off the phone once he had finished insulting me, and made me cry.
The following is the email I sent him late last night. The only thing that has been removed is the recipient’s name, to protect his identity in the case that he might wish such a thing.
No matter how angry or how furious I might be right now, I cannot help being disappointed by how things have turned out.
I didn’t do anything wrong.
“I suggest you stop spreading rumours and lies because it’s a game that two can play.
(except mine would be true)”
I am surviving the misery quite snugly at the moment; I have come to believe that if I keep myself occupied at all times I cannot possibly realize that I am unhappy.
And so, I have been:
Intriguingly, I haven’t actually done any work. This is because I would rather acknowledge that I am unhappy than be vaguely on time with work.
“If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it.”
(or, I long to feel some beauty in my heart)
My God,
it takes an ocean of trust;
it takes an effort, it does.
I am not angry but I wish I could be.
“We’re going for a day as a ZOOKEEPER and Kate is chasing behind, hoping she can come too!”
